If You Ask Someone On A Date Should They Pay Their Own Way?

Generally speaking, whoever extends the invitation pays for the date 100% including tips, parking, and any other expenses, - whether it's the first date or the tenth date. (The eleventh date is questionable. ...) An exception would be if it is mutually agreed upon before the date that expenses would be split. However this is generally does not happen before the first date. It's usually one person who makes the first move and asks someone out on a date. If that's you, you're responsible for all the expenses regardless of your gender. (Let's not use the word 'sex' on the first date. The word gender seems more appropriate. Too many men get the wrong idea.)

Shouldn't Men Always Pay For Dates?

Legend has it that years ago men always paid for dates. Why have things changed? It's regrettable but thankfully women are now equals. Women can vote, hold down high paying jobs, and take care of themselves. I'm told that in the far distant past most women didn't work and if they did, they usually got paid far less than men did.

What You Can Do If You Don't Want To Pay For Your Date.

I know what you're thinking. This can get pretty expensive if I'm the one who's always asking people out on dates. You might not be sure if you'll like your date or if I'll ever see them again. This is true. And you have options. There are three things you can do.

• You can ask people out on dates and pay for all the expenses.

• You can ask people to go out on dates and make it clear they will be paying their own way. (On first dates this is very cheeeezy and you probably won't make a good first impression.)

• You can stop asking people on dates. (Sigh, ..... not a very realistic option, but it is an option.)

Don't Like These Options? Hmmm... Why Not Try Fun But Inexpensive First Dates?

There are things you can do to reduce your dating expenses. You can date less frequently and be more selective about who you date. You can also chose inexpensive activities especially for the first couple of dates. This usually makes sense if you don't know much about your date. Why spend a lot of money on someone if you might not ever see them again? Here is a list of 50 fun and inexpensive things to do. Some activities are suitable for first dates.

Be creative on your first dates. They don't need to be expensive. In fact some of the best dates you'll ever have could be free. Every woman gets invited the the movies or out to dinner. Boring. ... If you're a man, women will love you for suggesting fun and unusual first dates. If you're woman, men will admire your creativity even if they don't say anything.

Hesitation Can Kill Your Chances For A Second Date.

When it comes time to pay the bill, don't make things uncomfortable for you or your date. Pick up the tab immediately without hesitation. Don't let the bill sit on the table. If your date wants to pay for half of the date make it clear that it's not necessary. If they insist, you might say something like, 'would you feel more comfortable sharing expenses?' If they answer 'yes' then you can split the bill.

When Should You Discuss Dating Expenses And Sharing In The Cost?

After the first or second date, or if you begin a relationship, you may or may not want to discuss the cost of dating. Perhaps the two of you will decide to share in the cost of dating or maybe you won't. It depends on each person's financial situation and how people feel about it. Some men have no problem paying all the dating expenses. Other men do. On the other hand, some women insist on paying their own way even if their date wants to pay for everything. Every relationship is different.

New Dating Rules For Women.

Remember, women are now equals in every way. We almost had a woman president but we changed our minds and decided to elect a black man instead. Thankfully in America everyone has the same rights regardless of race or gender. Today the same rules apply for men and women. If you ask a man out, don't expect him to pay his own way or pay for the cost of the date unless you made this perfectly clear before he accepted your invitation. When you ask a man out, you're responsible for picking up all the expenses. I know. It's not fair! It would be nice if men always paid for my dates. But I like my financial independence, the money I make, and my right to vote.

Have fun out there and may all your dates be good ones!

Written by
Liz Becker

Related Information:

• More dating advice

Dating Etiquette

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